More than 200 people from around the world came together for Sibling Voices, a global webinar hosted by Special Olympics in partnership with the Sibling Leadership Network and the Sibling Support Project, to talk about something that is deeply personal, yet often goes unheard, what it means to be a sibling of a person with an intellectual disability.
Siblings from different countries, cultures and generations joined the conversation to share their experiences, ask questions, and listen to one another. What emerged was a powerful reminder that while every family has its own story, many siblings share the same hopes, fears, responsibilities and joys.
A lot of the time we focus on our parents and caregivers, but we really want to give our siblings a space to share their story and their experience because it is unique.
That uniqueness was evident throughout the conversation. David Evangelista, Special Olympics CEO opened by reflecting on the impact his own siblings have had on his life and the stories he has heard from Special Olympics athletes around the world. “As we explore the power that comes from sibling relationships, sibling bonds, siblings have a very unique role in the world,” he said. “They usually know things that most don't. Education does not start in the classroom. Education starts at home, and that education is often one that you share with your siblings.”
But the heart of the webinar belonged to the siblings themselves.
Pete spoke openly about the complicated emotions that can emerge during adolescence, when the desire to fit in can collide with the instinct to protect a sibling. In seventh grade, he remembered sitting on a school bus as students mocked people with intellectual disabilities on another bus. His younger brother, who has Down syndrome, rode a bus just like it.
“And in that moment, I felt pretty angry, confused, ashamed, embarrassed, protective, and wanted to fit in,” Pete said. “When you have a sibling with a disability, those pressures of being a teenager get mixed with love, guilt and loyalty to your sibling.”
Years later, Pete was able to process that experience with his mother, who helped him understand that his classmates had not had the opportunity to know or understand his brother. That experience ultimately helped Pete recognize how deeply people’s perceptions of disability can be shaped by what they have, or have not, been exposed to.
That need for connection and understanding was echoed throughout the conversation. Emma described discovering the importance of having a community of people who understand the sibling experience firsthand.
“It allowed me to understand the value of having community of other families with disability, because the experience is really unique,” she said. “And I think having that community, which of course, Special Olympics offers as well, is what allows you to really understand that no one has to understand it, that you all understand each other's experiences. And that's what's really powerful.”
Pete spoke about another part of the sibling experience that can go unspoken, what happens when other people fail to recognize the value of a sibling with a disability.
“I wish someone asked me, like, how does it affect you when others don't see the value your brother has?” he said.
Finding other siblings helped Pete recognize that he was not alone in those feelings. He recalled sharing his own experience and having another person approach him afterward to explain just how deeply it had resonated.
“You told me so much about myself that most people don't even understand,” the person told him, Pete recalled.
The conversation also pushed back against the idea that sibling relationships involving disability are fundamentally different from any other sibling relationship. There are disagreements, teasing, shared interests and ordinary moments of fun.
“It's like, if you have a disability you have to be in, like, a clinical setting or they're more fragile than other people, and that's just really not the case at all,” Emma said.
Johammy brought another perspective to the discussion, sharing the story of her brother, Jose, whom her family adopted. The decision prompted questions from others about why her parents would choose to adopt a child with a disability.
“When we met Jose, we didn't see the disability,” Johammy said. “It's a person like another one.”
That perspective of seeing the person before the disability was central to much of the conversation. Johammy described how her family’s experience had shaped the way she understood disability and how she approached work and relationships with others.
The future was another subject that brought the siblings together. As brothers and sisters grow older, their relationships can take on new dimensions as family roles change and questions about independence, support and caregiving become more immediate.
Pete described future planning as something that is “ever evolving,” noting that there is no “cookie cutter way to do it.”
Kaitlin McNamara spoke about the emotional difficulty of having those conversations with parents while also trying not to add to their worries.
“I think my scariest moments are the ones where I have to talk to my parents about my fears for the future, because they're thinking about this, and I know that they're worried about it too, and I don't want to add anything to that,” she said.
At the same time, those conversations can create an opportunity for families to think together about what the sibling with a disability wants for their own life.
The panelists also reflected on how profoundly their siblings had shaped who they became. Emma said she likely would have been “a lot more self-oriented, less empathetic, less patient” and would have had “a lot less fun in life” without Ryan.
Pete described an even deeper lesson: “He's taught me that every person is born with dignity.” Watching his brother live a simple and content life helped Pete look beyond outward appearance, status and reputation as measures of human worth and instead place greater value on character.
The lessons were not simply about responsibility or advocacy. They were about how siblings experience the world differently because of the people they grew up alongside.
As the conversation came to a close, the panelists offered advice to their siblings that reflected the affection, pride and joy woven throughout their relationships. Emma encouraged Ryan to “keep on being who you are and shining your light,” reminding him of “how powerful your smile is and how contagious your laughter is.” She encouraged him to keep exploring the world, meeting new people and sharing his passion.
The message extended beyond the three panelists. Sibling voices matter because siblings have their own stories, challenges, questions, hopes, and their relationships can shape how families understand disability, how communities create inclusion and how people see one another.
“It's always so wonderful to find and share space with other siblings,” Kaitlin said.
